Panic Attack

I'm not sure what's different but my body has been changing a lot this year. I can actually feel hormonal shifts. I cry every few weeks, hysterically. I have more fear than usual. I think about going down hill fast (as in traveling down the mountain in the car) and my stomach plummets. I have always feared dropping and heights- but it's gotten a lot worse.

I rode Mission Space at Epcot this summer and spent far too much time worrying about the sensations I would get from the created G-force. Then Space Mountain made me want to vomit and die when I had rode it at least 5 times during my last visit and thought it was the best ride on Earth. I was so excited and I don't think I can go ever again. I nearly had a heart attack.

Yesterday, I went to Walmart (and I had also gone the day after Christmas). I had an actual panic attack in the store. I've thought I had had panic attacks in the past but this sensation was completely new to me.  So I'm guessing I used to have anxiety attacks, but not panic...

I felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I couldn't breathe. My stomach hurt. My vision got a bit blurry and dark around the edges. My world felt fake.

That's one thing that used to happen to me that hasn't in a long time. I would have moments where I almost felt like I was seeing outside my body. Life felt fake and sometimes all too real. It's extremely hard to explain. It was a Matrix like feeling and this was before the Matrix.

I'm not at all sure what's happening to me. I'm sure that it's all stress related- but it still overwhelms me. 

I could not calm down all night last night. I felt like a bundle of nerves. Slightly shaky, no desire to eat even though I needed to, my core feeling like it was a time bomb.

I ended up taking a Klonopin which helped slow the feelings even though this time I could feel them behind the little high I got. Usually they disappear completely and allow me extreme focus. I don't take Klonopin a lot- only when I need it. 

I guess a trip to the doctor is in order soon.